Memories
by Girl With The Dandelion
Summary: "That was when I knew I'd only need to keep an eye on her. She could clearly take care of herself and we were only five." Modern day AU.
1. Risky Business

I'd been keeping an eye on Katniss Everdeen since we were kids in Kindergarten. I remember the first day of school some boys tugged on one of her braids. I had started to walk over, to do what I still don't know; I just knew they needed to stop bothering her. Before I got to her though, she had kicked one of them in the shin and the other sat on the floor crying. That was when I knew I'd only need to keep an eye on her. She could clearly take care of herself and we were only five.

When we were eleven Mr. Everdeen died in a car accident and not too long after their mother was entered into a home, unable to function without her husband. Katniss' grandmother Sae, came to live with Katniss and her younger sister, Prim. I remember hearing Katniss tell her friend Madge that they might have to move. I'm pretty confident that was the first time I felt real fear.  
Fortunately, they stayed in town. After just a few months, their mother was able to come home. But I never saw her at the parent volunteer days anymore. Katniss and Prim both started to look a little unhealthy.

One night I heard my parents talking about them.

"That Rebecca needs to get a grip. So what her husbands dead? She's just going to sit idly by while her children starve?"

"Sally give her a break. She lost her husband. Her mother had to leave. Shes alone and unemployed."

"Exactly my point. She just sits around and does nothing. No job. Nothing. I'm sure her children are running around wild."

Dad must have seen me eavesdropping because he told my mom to stop talking about it. With the knowledge I had at that point, I knew my days of watching Katniss were far from over. There was this one day when we were during lunch and I noticed Katniss sitting alone without any food. I sat down next to her and handed her my sandwich. She didn't say a single word, but she took the food and I know she was grateful because she smiled. Everyday after that I ate lunch with Katniss Everdeen. Slowly, I noticed the color come back to her cheeks; Prims as well. I even saw Mrs. Everdeen down at the school. I guess she just needed more time.

As selfish as it may sound, I was grateful Katniss didn't have a lunch that day. Because of that, Katniss and I became best friends and I finally had a reason to be apart of her life instead of watching from a distance.

When we were seventeen, Katniss started to get a lot of attention at school. We were juniors and some of the seniors had taken notice of her. I, being the coward that I was, sat by and did nothing but keep an eye out. Then everything changed in one single moment. We were eating lunch when lo and behold, Gale Hawthorne, the senior of all seniors, sat down with us.

"Katniss, right?"

She looked at me from the corner of her eye. "Uhh, yeah? Why?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me to the game this Friday night. You know, the kickoff for the season?"

Again, she looked at me. "Um, I really wasn't planning on going."

This was when things took a turn. Gale snaked his arm around her shoulders.

"Are you sure? It's going to be a great time and I'd love to get to know you better."

"No, really. I'm sure." She made an attempt to push his arm away, but he wasn't having that.

"Come on, Katniss. Just come with me."

"Hey man. She said no."

He let go of her and looked over her towards me.

"Wasn't talking to you."

At this I stood up. "Yeah, well you weren't listening to her. She's not going with you."

Maybe he wasn't looking for a fight or maybe he underestimated my size, but whatever the reason, Gale rolled his eyes and walked away.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "Peeta-," she was cut off by the bell ring. I picked up her backpack. "Come on, I'll walk you to class."

She linked her arm through mine, something she occasionally would do. Nonetheless, it always caught me off guard and brought a huge grin to my face. When we reached the gymnasium, we both reached for the handle causing our hands to accidentally collide. Quickly, she withdrew hers while mine lingered, still tingling from her touch. She averted my eyes and walked into the gym. Taking a deep breath, I followed after her; we had gym at the same time. I noticed the bows and targets set up and immediately felt the disappointment well up. I was horrible at archery. However, where I was awful, Katniss was an expert.

I noticed her eyes light up and I felt my disappointment ebb away. I may suck at this, but at least I could watch Katniss. She made it look graceful, like an art. She pulled the arrow and released it, not even blinking an eye. Of course, it hit the center of the target. She looked over at me and smiled. Archery isn't so bad. After several failed attempts from my end, she must have felt bad for me because she walked over.

"Like this," she said, standing next to me. She took my arm in her hand and lifted it up so that it was held straight in front me. She placed the bow in my grasp and then an arrow into my other hand. Here's where things became…interesting. She took my hand in hers, and pulled the arrow so that it was at level with my eye; her face was aligned with my own.

"Breathe, and release," she whispered, her voice tickling my ear. I let the arrow go and it still missed. But my god I would miss every single arrow for the rest of my life as long as she kept trying to show me how.

She laughed and stepped away. "You know, I really thought that would work."

With a shaky breath, I replied, "Probably would have if it were anyone else."

She chuckled again. "You always sell yourself short Peeta. I'll bet you'll get the hang of it one day."

I shrugged. "If you can't teach me, I highly doubt anyone else will be able to."

She rolled her eyes and grinned. "With an attitude like that it's a wonder you even show up for gym."

"You know me. It's my favorite class."

"I still haven't figured out why," she said and went back to firing off arrows.

It was my favorite class because it was the only one I shared with Katniss. Eventually the rest of the day dragged on. And it was certainly a drag because of the lack of Katniss. The final bell rang at last and I began my customary walk to the exit doors where Katniss always waited for me. Except for today, she wasn't alone.

"Gale, I already told you I'm not going to the game this Friday."

"Yeah I heard you. But what about dinner instead?"

For the most part, I'm not a violent person. I mean sure, everyone has their moments, and right now I was definitely having one.

"Gale look, there's someone else, alright?"

"You have a boyfriend?"

At this, I stopped and hung back.

"Yes. I do."

Unless Katniss was suddenly and expert secret keeper, I knew she was lying. Once again, Katniss saved herself with me just watching.

"Who?" His disbelieving tone made me want to punch him in the face all over again.

"Peeta."

She could have picked anyone. She could have made up a name. And despite the fact I knew I was the easiest lie, it still thrilled me that I was chosen. For some inexplicable reason, I decided to play the part.

I caught up to them and took Katniss' hand in mine. "Are you ready?"

Startled, she jumped a little but relaxed when she saw it was me.

"Always," she said, waving away Gale.

Once we were out of eyeshot, I expected her to let go, but she didn't. If anything, it felt like her grip had tightened. When we reached her front door, she finally did let go and I felt the loss immediately.

"Thanks Peeta. Again."

I tried to sound nonchalant. "Anytime." I started to walk away, but she grabbed my arm.

"Peeta, wait."

I turned around. "Yeah?"

She tucked her hair behind her ear and shuffled her right foot against the ground. She looked shy. She looked adorable. "I didn't want that to be a lie."

I wasn't sure if I'd heard her right. "What?"

"Oh never mind. I'm being stupid. I'll see you tomorrow Peeta."

"No hold on. You can't just say that and expect me to forget it."

She scowled. "Yes I can and that's what I'm doing." I took a step closer.

"No. You can't. I won't let you." We met in the middle with an explosive kiss. Her arms around my neck, her back to the wall, her legs around my waist.

And that's the story of how I started dating Katniss Everdeen.

* * *

It was the easiest thing we'd ever done together; the transition from just friends to more than. What wasn't so easy was the backlash we dealt with from our parents.

Of course, nothing on this planet could ever make my mother happy so I wasn't expecting much from her. What took me by surprise though was Dad's reaction.

"Peeta, if you date an Everdeen…they come with a lot of baggage. Are you sure you want to get involved all of that?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I've been involved for practically my entire life Dad. How is this any different? I already know Katniss; sometimes better than I know myself. I know what comes with being apart of her life because I've been apart of it for so long now."

"Peeta, they're tricky women. Especially with the loss of their father, and basically the loss of their mother. I know you've been friends for a long time, but this is different."

I shook my head. "You're wrong Dad. The only difference is I get to tell the whole world that I love her."

Apparently, Mrs. Everdeen had her own objections, but Katniss wouldn't tell me what.

That's how we spent our senior year too. Together. With only three months of school left, I started to get a little worried. With college and careers, what would happen to us? I already knew Katniss was all there would ever be for me. I'd known since I was five. But how strongly did she feel? Did she want to cut things off to go away for college? I knew how much Katniss hated where we lived. I knew how much she wanted to escape.

All at once it seemed like every option for her was stolen away when Prim was killed in a car accident. I will never forget the funeral. Mrs. Everdeen leaned against Sae, openly wailing. Katniss sat alone, staring at the little closed casket. By this point, most of those who had gathered to say goodbyes had left. It was just me, the Everdeens and my father left. Dad cleared his throat and hugged Mrs. Everdeen. He awkwardly pulled back and left the building. Eventually, the Everdeen family exited as well, but not Katniss. She stood alone. I walked towards her as she crumpled onto one of the pews.

"Katniss…"

"What am I going to do Peeta? She's gone. My baby sister is gone." The tears fell endlessly from her eyes. I sat down next to her and pulled her into my arms. She sat on my lap as she clung to me, sobbing. I brushed her hair away from her face where it clung to her tear soaked cheeks. Her fingers curled around my shirt and her body shook against mine.

"What am I going to do? Grandma is taking Mom back home with her. Mom hasn't spoken to me since this all happened. They're forcing me to leave with them. I don't want to go. I can't leave this place. This place is Prim. I can't leave Prim."

It hit me like a bomb. She couldn't stay. She would have to leave me. I would lose her only after just finding her.

"Peeta I'm so sorry. I love you. I love you so much. But I have to go. I have to leave," she sobbed out. It was the first time she'd said those words to me. I love you. The first time, and I was hooked.

"Katniss what if you didn't have to leave?"

She sat up and leaned away from me. "Peeta, I'm still in high school. What would I do? Shack up with someone from school?"

I winced at her choice of words, especially given what I was about to suggest.

"What if you lived with me?"

She let go of my arms. "Are you crazy? I'm seventeen Peeta. I'm not ready to live with you. I love you. I really do, but I just don't think I can just live with someone. If we were married, that would be different, but obviously-,"

"Marry me."

**Author's Note: **So originally, I was going to make this a giant one shot, but instead I think I'm going to break it up into chapters. This is LOOSELY based on the song Memories by Panic at the Disco, so if you're familiar with the song, its kind of a little summary of this story. Regardless, chapter two is being written and if you like the story, don't forget to review and follow! Love you guys


	2. Independence

"Are you insane? Marry you?"

I knew I should feel insane. Maybe even regret. Instead though, it almost felt like a weight lifted. This was something I'd been wanting to ask her ever since the first day I'd seen her. But this was definitely not how I wanted to do it.

I did not want it be at her sisters funeral. I did not want to be an ultimatum. I did not want her to be a shattered mess. I did not want us to be teenagers. I did not want her to say no.

"Marry me. I've wanted to marry you for almost fifteen years. Marry me."

She shook her head, her cheeks still wet with tears. "Peeta I don't want to marry you because you didn't want me to leave. I don't want a marriage that wasn't a choice."

She began to pull away, but I put my hand against the small of her back, shifting her a little bit closer.

"You're right. Marrying you is not a choice because there is no choice for me. It's either you or no one. It's always been that way for me Katniss. You or nothing. So this isn't something I'm asking to keep you here. This is something I'm asking because a life where you aren't with me every day just isn't a life that sounds even a little bit appealing."

She touched her fingers to my cheek. "That's sweet and romantic as hell Peeta, it really is. But what happens when we're older, and you think about all of the things you could have done if you hadn't settled down when you were a kid? We're still kids Peeta. We're just kids pretending to be adults. It's all anyone is. I've seen it. I've seen it with mom. That's not an adult. That's a small child trapped in the aging body of someone much more older than she'll ever be ready to be. I don't want that for us. I don't want an adult life to be something I had nightmares about as a kid."

She was saying no. How could I have expected anything else? I sounded certifiable. She was absolutely right. We're just children.

"I want to marry you. Someday. But when not being married to you isn't an option for different reasons."

She leaned her forehead against mine. "I meant what I said. I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered back. I pressed my lips to her forehead and she tucked herself back into my arms. We sat there for a few more hours, her in my lap, my arms encircling all of her. The drive home was just as quiet. She held my hand over the center console, her other hand twirling a strand of hair that had come undone from her braid.

"Where would we even live? And what would we do for jobs? Neither of us has any money and hardly any work skills. I mean I have those six months from working in the mayor's office, but other than that? That wasn't even a real job; it was volunteer work for credits for school. It was meant to help with college. College! Have you even thought about that? If we got married, going away to college is pretty much impossible. We can hardly afford our lives as it is, but marriage?"

Her outburst startled me and I jerked the wheel a little.

"Katniss, I thought you said no."

"And our families? They'd kill us. Your dad? He would probably have a heart attack, and your mom might actually murder me. My mother? Well, she probably wouldn't even notice, but my grandmother might spirit me away. And god, I can already hear the rumors about when I'd be due would sound like. Or there goes one of those Everdeen girls, messing things up again."

I tightened my grip on her hand. Honestly, I was starting to feel a little offended. I wasn't particularly fond of hearing all of the reasons why she had said no.

"Katniss, I understand. You already made it abundantly clear as to why you don't want to get married."

"Although, I think there's actually housing for married couples. And with your grades and scholarships and the money I have saved we might be able to pull that off. But then we could still go to college and not be married. But that's not for another six months; I can't deal with another six months of being alone. Of being without you…"

"Katniss, what are you saying?"

Putting one of her slender fingers to my lips, she shushed me. "I'm thinking out loud. Just give me a minute."

My stomach was in knots as I silently counted to sixty.

"It doesn't make any sense, and quite frankly, it scares the shit out of me, but there's not another option, is there? And I don't mean that like staying with you is all there is, but in truth, that's all there is. There's just you and me; and I think I understand what you meant earlier. You didn't ask so I could stay; you asked so I would. You asked to be with me forever, and forever is just so short but it's really long isn't it?"

I didn't know what to say so I just nodded. "It is," I agreed.

She nodded too, and two tears fell down her cheeks.

"I thought I could do it. I thought I could picture a life alone, even if it was just for a little while. But then I kept seeing these images of the life I almost had. Taking Prim out shopping for her prom dress and dinners with mom and grandma and Prim. And none of that's real anymore, you know? It's just all gone, like it was a dream and it's all fading back into my mind. I don't want that to be us. I don't want us to fade away and I feel like if I leave we will. If I leave with my mother then you and I will just disappear into nothing and I can't handle that. I just can't lose anyone else I love and I love you the most. So, I think my answer is yes. Yes, I will marry you. Today, tomorrow, next week, next year. I will marry you and it will be forever."

She was shaking and out of breath. She'd completely twisted her hair out of its braid, and her cheeks were red and tear stained. She was so heartbreakingly beautiful and I was stunned into silence. I pulled the car over to the side of the road; I couldn't focus on driving and her. Not right now anyway.

"Katniss, don't do this because you feel like there's nothing else for you. I don't want that for you."

She shook her head. "But there is nothing else for me. It's either you or no one. That's what you said to me, right? Well that's what I'm saying to you. You, or nothing. All or nothing. I want this. I want us. I want you. So yes, Peeta Mellark, I will marry you."

Her fingers reached towards my cheek again and I turned to kiss her palm. Her thumb brushed away a tear I hadn't realized had fallen; to be honest I hadn't even noticed there were even tears in my eyes.

"Katniss-,"

She blinked away her own tears and took my face between both of her hands. Bringing herself closer to me, she pulled herself over the middle of the car and maneuvered her way into my lap. She wrapped her legs around my waist and leaned forward to kiss me.

"I want this, Peeta. I really really do."

I nodded as she kissed me again.

"For better," she kissed my eyes. "For worse," she kissed my neck. "Forever," she kissed my ear, her warm breath sending a chill down my spine.

"Forever," I whispered back, kissing her shoulder, the sleeve of her dress dipping lower as I tugged at the fabric.

"Forever," she said again, quickly undoing my tie.

* * *

It wasn't until after sunset that we'd composed ourselves enough for me to bring her home. Truth be told, I didn't want to leave that car. Outside of the car waited reality. Outside of the car we had families to tell our news too. Families that wouldn't be at all accepting. Families that would actually probably want to kill us, just like Katniss had said. I pulled into her driveway and undid my seatbelt. Katniss was staring at her front door and before I could say anything, she broke the silence again.

"I'm telling mom tonight."

"And if she says no?"

She shrugged. "If she says no, I'll make her say yes. Is she really going to try and forbid me from marrying you when I can do it in a few months without her permission anyway? That's stupid and a waste of everyone's time and energy. She'll see reason."

Katniss set her jaw and her eyes lit up with the same kind of determination I'd seen so often. She was stubborn, and being told no in any capacity simply wasn't an option for her. Her hand shook in mine though, and I knew at least some of this was just a false bravado. She worried about her mom. Who could blame her?

"Do you think now's the best time?"

Her voice softened and she looked at me. "It's the only time. I can't put life on hold anymore for mom. I'm done walking on eggshells around her. I just need this for me, and she'll have to understand that. Especially now. Especially today. Today above all days, I need this for me."

I tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'll go with you."

She smiled. "Mom actually has a soft spot for you, believe it or not. I think you being there might sweeten the deal for her."

I was surprised at that. "Really? I always thought your mom kind of hated me."

She shook her head. "Not you. Not anyone really. I think she just hates reminders."

I raised an eyebrow. "Reminders? Of what?"

She pursed her lips. "The past. I'll tell you about it sometime. But now, we have to talk to her before I completely lose it."

She opened her door and I followed suit. Katniss ran her fingers through her curls, no doubt trying to tame what she referred to as "post sex hair." I tucked her into my side and kissed her temple.

"You look beautiful."

She chuckled. "Every guy thinks that after sex."

"No. It's a simple fact dear. You're always beautiful."

She licked her lips. "Dear? Am I dear now that we're engaged?"

"You'll always be dear," I said, bending to whisper in her ear. She smacked my shoulder as she fumbled with her key in the door. I heard the click on the handle signaling the lock turning and suddenly what we were about to do hit me like a hundred tons of bricks. We were telling her mother and her old and very scary grandmother that we wanted to get married. On the day they'd buried a daughter and granddaughter. As if she could sense my sudden fear, Katniss linked her fingers through mine and raised our joined hands to her lips.

"Come on, _dear,_" she said, a small smile accompanying her whisper. She pulled me into her house and our fates were cemented.

"Mom, Grandma, we need to talk."

**Author's Note:** Sorry that this took so long! I was having some trouble getting this one out mostly because both chapters two and three are more or less the filler chapters before it gets into the rough stuff. And I despise writing filler. I can't even tell you when three will be up, but I have at least started to write it! Anyways, leave a review if you want; lord knows I thrive off of them!


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